5 Things Cancer Patients and Their Partners Should Know About Sexuality

Millions of people are diagnosed with cancer every year. In the initial shock and distress of diagnosis, patients and their loved ones cannot think of anything other than the disease and its treatment. However, after the diagnostic period, maintaining normal life and not withdrawing from sexuality, social activities and hobbies also helps the treatment process.

If your sexual desire and energy levels change during treatment, remember that this is natural and happens to many people. It may result from stress, tiredness and other treatment adverse effects. Sexual problems related to cancer are common; remember that you are not alone and can ask for help.

1- Sexuality Involves Emotions as Well as the Body

Sexual feelings and attitudes differ greatly among people, even when they are not ill. Cancers can cause different difficulties in this area. Conditions directly affecting reproductive organs, such as ovarian cancer, cervical cancer or prostate cancer, may require specific approaches because they cause different sexual problems. On the other hand, in head and neck cancer, for example, dry mouth, disfigurement and fatigue may reduce sexual desire (libido). During menopause, hormonal changes can cause problems such as dryness and inability to reach orgasm. These physical changes and the emotional difficulties of the process do not prevent couples from experiencing sexuality. Hugging, touching and feeling are also parts of sexuality. Do not hesitate to express your feelings to feel that you love and are loved.

2- Do Not Be Afraid to Ask Questions

Problems with sexual intercourse may arise during or after cancer treatment. Do not feel ashamed or afraid to ask your doctor about them. For example, you may wonder how treatment will affect sexual function. This is entirely natural, and you can ask your doctor this way. Your doctor may be intensely occupied with your medical treatment. In that case, on this subject, your oncology nurse can be consulted, and in cancer psychology you can seek support from a specialist psychiatrist or psychologist.

3- Do Not Wait; Focus on Solutions

Do not wait for answers to your questions and solutions to your problems; take action. For example, because medicines given during treatment also affect hormones, they can cause erectile problems or reduced libido in men, or vaginal dryness in women. Depending on the severity of your discomfort, you can use supportive measures such as pelvic floor (groin area) therapy and massage, and aids such as massage oil and lubricating gel… Your physical appearance may change. There are good solutions for this too; for example, breast cancer patients who have undergone surgery can have a tattoo on their surgical scars. For emotional relief, be sure to communicate and talk with your partner, and seek psychological support if you feel the need.

4- You Are Not Alone

Remember that you are not the only person experiencing these difficulties; you are not alone. Every year, 14 million people worldwide are diagnosed with cancer. Each may experience problems involving their spouse or partner during this process. The difficult process of cancer naturally affects your partner too. Talk with your partner in advance, before treatment, about potential problems afterward. Your partner may need emotional and physical closeness during this period, or fear appearing selfish or demanding. This process may lead to psychological difficulties. Partners may hesitate to be the first to raise these issues. Take the first step and be sure to discuss this subject.

5- We Know It Is a Difficult Journey; DO NOT GIVE UP

Cancer patients experience a very difficult treatment process, with strain and fatigue. During this challenging time, sexuality does not always remain constant and unchanging. With or without cancer, everyone’s sexuality changes in their 20s, 40s and 50s. As in every stage of life, ups and downs in this area are entirely normal. Your energy may decrease, you may have symptoms such as pain or nausea, and your physical appearance may change. Still, do not withdraw into waiting and pessimism. Do not detach from your work, relationships or sexuality, isolate yourself, and try to remain as active as you can.